


sunburn

by fruitfloralnutbutt



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: Angst, F/F, Fluff, Light Smut, post breakup, the holy trinity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-02
Updated: 2018-11-02
Packaged: 2019-08-16 17:17:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 982
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16499492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fruitfloralnutbutt/pseuds/fruitfloralnutbutt
Summary: Katya’s life didn’t stop after they broke up, but she did.





	sunburn

**Author's Note:**

> I'm back bitchez

Katya’s life didn’t stop after they broke up, but she did. 

She stopped photographing. She stopped doing yoga. She stopped doing everything she liked. 

She tried, she did. 

When she bent down into downward dog, she felt eyes on her. But when she looked up to the usual place on the couch where brown eyes and messy blonde hair sat, she found nothing but bunched up pillows and throw blankets. But it wasn’t like before, not like three years ago, because there were stains on the couches from long wine and grape juice nights, pink spots on the sheets from the time Trixie decided to eat ice cream and strawberries naked in bed, pieces of glass still in the corner of the kitchen from that time Katya tried to cook and ended up breaking an entire glass casserole pan while Trixie laughed, sitting half naked on the cool stone countertops. 

She tried photographing again, but she never saw the model in front of her, only the angel of her dreams with wide hips, a little waist and rosy pink cheeks, always bright and shining when she wasn’t wearing any makeup. 

And when Katya thought she had finally moved on, she fell deep again. When she decided to finally organize their apartment, her apartment, six months later, she stubbled across those polaroids. The same ones she took in the privacy of their dorm and their bedroom. The ones she took outside walking through the park. The ones she took in cafes. The ones she took at parties. And when she saw the crooked smile and gleeful eyes, she cried. Her heart ached with a stinging warmth of pain. 

And when she held her lover at night, she couldn’t feel soft thighs or see freckled pale skin. She brushed her hair through straight black hair, not smooth curly blonde hair. She smelled a different smell, something she couldn’t place, but it was Trixie’s smell. It wasn’t sweet or flowery, it was bitter and husky. She didn’t feel pink manicured nails across her skin, or miles of long pillowy smooth legs, and she cried then. She sobbed silently, thinking of her. Thinking of all of the good times, when they vacationed in California, splashing each other with water and giggling like teenage girls. When they would walk through the park every Sunday with tea and coffee in their hands, waving at walking dogs and quaking at the ducks swimming in the river. She remembers the bad times too, when she came home at 5 am after getting drunk alone at the bar because they were fighting. When Trixie told her she wasn’t sure if she could do ‘this’ anymore. When Katya threw a plate at the door when Trixie left for work the next morning and never came back. 

But she knew her drug addiction and her alcoholism wasn’t the only problems. They argued all of the time over the smallest of things, and made it up with a night to themselves, saying ‘I love you’ and ‘ I promise’ as they both silently screamed in pleasure. They both were selfish and towards the end, they barely gave up anything for each other. Katya worked late hours avoiding Trixie, and Trixie went out with her friends the second she got out of work, not coming home until 3 am. 

But Katya would take everything back, give up her life, to go back to those happy moments just one more time. She wished she could go back to the time she got that scar on her hip when Trixie grabbed her too tight and her nail sliced her skin. She wanted to go back to that summer that she developed a mole on her neck from going to the beach and laying out in the sun for too long. She wanted to see Trixie in her sweatshirts again, wanted to hug her from behind like she did on Saturdays when Trixie flipped pancakes or baked banana bread. She wanted to press her nose into blonde waves, drowning her nostrils with jasmine and irises. She wanted to kiss warm cheeks, to sleep on pale thighs in grey yoga pants, to have someone elses fingers braiding her straw like hair into a french braid. She wanted to hear her strum her guitar once more and to listen to her birdlike voice sing those same whiny love songs Katya used to hate, but now, could never get out of her head. 

It’s been 8 months, and Katya was sure she’d never hear from her again, until she walked into that same cafe on Sunday morning, like every Sunday morning, and there she was. An angel in a white fluffy sweater and those same grey yoga pants, her hair tied up in a messy bun. Her eyelashes were coated with mascara, but her face was bare, covered only by sunlight and warmth. “Hey, Kat.” She smiled shyly, taking a step forward with a green tea in her hand. 

And Katya was sure she could cry again, but not for missing her woman, but for just seeing her. To talk to her again. To walk with her through the park again, and to make a date to see her again next Sunday. To see her sun smile and giggle at her just one more time. And she did cry that night. She cried listening to her EPs, to old videos of her covers. She cried looking at those polaroids once more time before putting them back into their shoebox home. She cried smelling the left over pink sweatshirt that still smelled like Trixie. And she wasn’t sure if she’d leave her again or if she would stay forever until they were both wrinkling, but she knew she had been burnt by her sunlight, and even though the pink tint of her skin would soon fade, she’d be scarred forever by that sunburn. 

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by the song 'sunburn' by ed sheeran


End file.
